Promises
by Gindokei
Summary: A short, sad little EdWin piece. 'Edward knew... and he wanted so badly to return her feelings. But he wouldn't let himself make a promise he couldn't keep.' Spoilers for later chapters of the manga.


_Promises  
_

**AN: Sad EdWin. This concept came to me out of nowhere, and I have a feeling I might've read a fic based on it before. If so, apologies to the author who first thought of this scenario! Manga-based, contains spoilers for later chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of **_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_**. All credit goes to Ms. Hiromu Arakawa.**

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**He knew.

He could tell by the way she looked at him. It wasn't all that different from how she usually looked at him, but something in her eyes – that tender softness – was far removed from the manic glint she usually had when she looked at him. It was when he saw that softness in her eyes that he knew.

Edward was lying face down on the bed as she busily tinkered with his arm. He liked to think he could feel her warm fingertips on the cold steel, but of course, he couldn't. Winry adjusted a few cogs and tightened a loose wire, her hands deft and sure. Her blonde hair wasn't pulled back this time – he had very little time, and she'd decided to forgo her usual 'mechanic' attire. Her hair was loose, and fell forward into her eyes – she brushed it back each time it obscured her vision, making an irritable little sound from the back of her throat.

He sighed slowly, raising his face from the hard pillow. He had to sort this out with her now. They would never have another chance.

"Winry?" His voice was steady – he'd rehearsed the words a million times, and felt as if he could say them in his sleep now. "How… how long?"

The words had seemed casual and off-handed when he'd first said them to himself, but now they just sounded cruel. It made him sound as if he was talking about the weather, or something else that was completely trivial – not about this warm, energetic girl's love for him. He winced immediately and prayed she knew what he was talking about.

She did. Winry froze at his words, still in the process of unscrewing a rusted screw with her wrench. The blonde mechanic coughed and attempted to sound nonchalant.

"What are you talking about?"

Edward sighed and maneuvered his body so that he was facing her, his left arm tucked under his side. "Winry," he began again, trying to meet her hesitant eyes, "I don't have time. I need to know."

The girl dropped his arm. It smacked against the metal frame of the bed as it hung uselessly over the edge of the mattress – she hadn't finished, after all. Edward couldn't feel the impact of his arm against the metal and so ignored the sound, continuing to gaze steadily at Winry's bowed head. Her fingers pulled at the hem of her shirt, and she looked intensely uncomfortable.

It made sense. Winry hadn't ever been good at expressing such intimate emotions. Anger, happiness, sadness… all of these were easy for her to show. In fact, she seemed to take a particular pleasure in displaying the foremost emotion whenever he was around. But something as serious as this… she wasn't going to hurry up and answer.

Edward found himself growing frustrated as Winry continued to gaze into her lap. "Winry…" His tone had a sharper edge to it. The girl jerked her head up, and her blue eyes were defiant, although he could see the overpowering sadness in them, too.

"I don't know," she responded quietly. "I really don't know."

Edward exhaled and sat up, his right arm still dangling uselessly by his side. Once again, he ignored the functionless limb and placed his left hand on his knee, bending his spine forward. Winry watched him silently, occasionally raising one hand to tuck hair behind her ears.

"I'm sorry." The frank apology took her by surprise, and Winry could do nothing but stare at the golden-haired young man. "I'm sorry," Edward repeated, sounding truly regretful. "I really am, Winry."

Understanding dawned on her, and she averted her eyes for a heartbeat before returning them to his. Her face was blank, and the only sign of emotion was her slightly down-turned mouth and an extra gleam in her eyes.

She didn't even bother to ask him why, but he replied anyway. "It's just… this entire Promised Day mess. I don't know what's going to happen, Winry. I don't know what they plan on using us for."

He didn't want to sugarcoat anything for her. He wanted to let her know that there was a very big chance that he and Alphonse would not return. Winry's jaw line tightened at his words.

"I don't want to make you a promise I can't keep," he told her honestly, wishing she'd turn away, or lower her eyes, or _something_. Her intense, unwavering gaze was making him vaguely nervous, and as a result the words spilled out of him quicker than usual. Winry let out a deep breath and finally broke eye contact, her eyes returning to her apparently fascinating lap.

"I… I understand." Her voice was quiet, and he had to marvel at how strong she was being. "And I appreciate it, Ed. Thank you." She raised her eyes once more and fixed him with her blue gaze. "I can't say it doesn't hurt," she added softly. "I thought…"

Edward shook his head slowly. Winry turned one corner of her mouth upwards in a half-hearted smile.

"I know, I know," she spoke, rubbing one hand over her face. "Don't apologize, Ed. It's not your fault. I think… I think I always knew it'd pan out like this. That's why I never wanted to tell you."

His chest constricted, and he thought of how easy it would be to tell her no, he didn't mean that – he did love her, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He thought of how easy it would be to gather her into his arms – well, _arm_ – and offer her broken words of comfort. He thought of how easy it would be to allow himself to love her the way he should, the way he could have in a different life.

He bowed his head. "I'm sorry," he said again, even though she'd told him not to apologize. "I just…"

"Ssh." Winry shook her head. "Don't." Her eyes were sad as she looked at him, but firm, too. "I don't want an excuse, Ed."

The words weren't meant to be cruel, but they stung. Edward grunted in response and let his body fall backwards, back onto the bed. Winry silently took his arm and continued her repairs on it.

"All done," she proclaimed after a while, and Edward was relieved to hear the familiar note of cheerfulness in her voice. It didn't even sound forced. He sat up and tested the arm, rolling his shoulder as Winry watched with a half-smile.

"Thanks," he grinned, hopping off the bed and slipping both hands into his pockets. "Good as new."

Winry laughed. "Don't go breaking it in a hurry, okay? You'll need it."

He met her solemn gaze and offered her a wink. "Don't worry. I'll take good care of it."

"You say that every time," she sighed, folding her work apron up and placing it on the bed. Edward laughed, and was surprised at how good it felt.

Winry smiled as well, shaking her head and gazing at him fondly. "Go on. I know you have to leave with those men and Li – I mean, Greed." Her smile slipped off. "Be careful."

"I'll try," he agreed, although she didn't look very reassured at his words. "You and Granny take care."

She nodded. "Tell Alphonse that the next time I see him, he'd better have his body back."

"Yeah." He moved towards the doorway and exited the room, intent on getting out of Resembool as quickly as possible. Still… something compelled him to stop and turn around, maybe to get one last glimpse of his childhood friend.

Winry sat on the stool next to the bed, her face impassive. Her hands were neatly folded in her lap, and she was gazing straight ahead, at the wall in front of her. A single tear made its way down her cheek.

Edward closed his eyes and backed away from the door hurriedly, lest she see him. He felt absolutely miserable. He hadn't wanted to make a promise he couldn't keep – and yet, he'd gone and broken another one in the process.

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**AN: Set around the time Edward returns to Resembool with Greed!Ling, and when Winry is smuggled into her house in a water tank(I think that's what it was…). I always wanted to write a bit of EdWin sadness. ): I'm glad it didn't actually happen like this in the manga!**

**1,355 words.**


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